爱情这东西是没的勉强的东西。一切顺其自然就好。

要知道，满足就好。人懂得满足，自然就开心。

就算曾经有二百多段“感情”那怎样？很威风吗？快乐过神仙吗?

If i love someone, i'm devoted to her. One soulmate is enough.

I'm not perfect, but it's okay.^^

I'm just a selfish and bad person. I don't deserve nothing at all.

Do you know what's worth fighting for and not worth dying for? I'm crying when i'm writing this. I dunno what's goin on but my mind tells me that i can't forgive myself neither can i forget her. I didn't know i could let the feelings take over me but it just did. Now recall back, i wanted to die that day but something tells me that if i really try suicide I'm just neglecting my responsibilities and letting everyone down but I CAN'T MOVE ON!!! It's not desperation it's the loss of someone you really want to spend your life with. I knew she had reasons, reasons that she could'nt tell me directly and reasons that i may not understand for the rest of my life. I forced her away from me. It was all my fault just because of anger and obsession. I really want her back. I fought, i went all the way to see her, but it's just not worth dying for because if i die i may never even see her anymore. It's not about moving on or not it's the loss of the one that really matters to you for the rest of your life.

Even until now i'm still thinking so much until I've reached the point of desperation. I'm suffocating. The feeling of losing someone you really hope you can love and care for really hurts. I really can't think about this anymore. The more i think about the more negative i become. Until i realized the evil i have become it is too late.

I dared to say that people around me are innocent but at the meantime i was the fool, letting my feelings take control over me and make things so much harder to forget.

I think they are right... if you truly loves someone, you will wish for her happiness and you will let her go. I just didn't love her right.

If only there's second chance in life.

the point of no return

By doing this i know i have reached the point of no return. I've finally got her to hate me. I have no other options. I dunno why. I just want her to know that she's wrong too. But i oso know she had reached the point whereby i cannot do anything to save her out of her own thoughts. She is blinded by her love life. She's like demon possessed. I know it's not my problem anymore to care about her and the same thing goes for her as well. Whether i'm dead or dying she wouldn't care. But i just can't lie to myself that i still worry bout her. Perhaps that's how you will feel for someone when you truly loves someone.

Sorry for getting my buddies worried these few weeks. I'm recovering and perhaps things will be better in time. I know what i'm saying is kinda boring but anyway thanks buddies and grateful to my Korean friends who took care of me when i was on the verge of my psychological and mental breakdown.

Fate is what brought us together and fate is what took us apart. No i don't regret it because i've gt my tears back. I used to say i don't cry and there was a time i did not cry for a several years but now there's so many things that would make me cry. A book, a movie etc. I feel like an absolute weeper.

Perhaps it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.